


The case of the stuck candy bar

by inspectorwired



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen, Humor, almost everyone appears or is mentioned, makes fun of the entire dr1+2 cast but like. lovingly, she/her pronouns for fujisaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 12:40:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21849793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inspectorwired/pseuds/inspectorwired
Summary: A joint effort leading to a domino effect, its first fallen chip being the Ultimate Luckster's ultimate talent that is really just a bunch of small inconveniences in a trench coat.
Relationships: Fujisaki Chihiro & Owada Mondo, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, Kirigiri Kyoko/Naegi Makoto
Comments: 6
Kudos: 63





	The case of the stuck candy bar

It isn't Naegi's lucky day.

Then again, most days aren’t; for someone with a reputation for being lucky, he gets splashed by passing cars, bumped on the shoulder by passersby, stuck inside elevators, and similar way too often. As well as this, he thinks, annoyed, as he looks at the vending machine in front of him, the candy he was looking forward to eating stuck on the shelf inside. It's coconut flavored, too - his favorite.

“Aw, come on,” he whines without putting that much heart into it, as Kirigiri places a comforting hand on his shoulder. It's still before noon, they’ve got a lot of classes today, and he really needs some sugar in his system. He randomly presses a few buttons without expecting anything to happen, which proves right, because it doesn't.

“That’s unfortunate,” his girlfriend comments flatly, no change in her expression. Naegi drops his head to her shoulder and sighs. Well, what can you do. Maybe he can get Asahina to feed him some donuts later. They've got sociology together and he knows that his friend always brings ungodly amounts of those to class.

He takes Kirigiri’s hand once again and turns to leave, finding himself face to face with a friend - or rather, face to collarbone. He used to dislike his height back when he was in his teens, but he’s more or less used to it by now, sometimes even preferring it. Tilting his head up slightly when he kisses Kirigiri is always nice. “Hey there.”

“What seems to be the problem?” Togami asks them, his tone as unpleasant as ever. There's a coffee stain on his lapel and an appointment for professional deep cleaning freshly added into his phone, and he is in a mood fittingly foul for entertaining a plebeian or two.

Wordlessly, Kirigiri gestures at the vending machine.

“I see,” he says. “Useless as always, are you? No matter, I have -”

“Hey, dudes, what’s good?” Togami is interrupted by Oowada's loud voice as the biker walks up to them, leather jacket creaking with each step, the look on his face the usual levels of intense.

“Did you just-”

“It got stuck, huh?” For some reason, Oowada seems excited. “I can fucking help with that. Watch this! Aaaah!”

With a battle cry, he raises one of his arms to his face as if standing in guard, and kicks the vending machine with all his might. Nothing happens.

“How dare you interrupt me? You, less worthy than the heel of my shoe, a mosquito in the-”

“Still stuck, is it?! Okay then, take  _ this _ , you fucker!” Oowada, too focused to hear, gives the machine several more kicks in quick succession, yelling all the while. Togami glares at him.

“G-good morning…”

“Hi, guys!”

The few of them turn at the two more greetings, one uncharacteristically cheerful for the time of day and occasion and the other lukewarm at best. Togami blanches.

“Maizono-san! Fukawa-san!” Naegi greets them back.

“The hell. Did you follow me here? Why do you keep following me, scum?”

Fukawa breathes deeply, hands clasped over her mouth as she glances up at her unfortunate crush. “It was just a coincidence… heheh…”

Togami rolls his eyes, while Oowada lays off his kicks to make way for Maizono. The air fills with the fragrance of lilies, high heels clicking against the floor tiles. Not for the first time, the rest of them wonder about the way the girl manages to look so fresh in the middle of the exam season, as well as the reason why she even bothers. At least she’s not Celes, who would sooner die than be seen in anything other than her full Lolita getup at any time of day or night.

“Ooh, that seems like a bit of a bother.” Maizono clicks her tongue, thinking. Then her face lights up, as if she thought of something good. “I can help! Be right back.”

She turns and leaves with a spring in her step. Oowada goes back to kicking.

“...Since none of you degenerates cares enough for my helpful advice, I am surprising myself as to why I’m giving it so freely. Never mind.” Togami clears his throat again. “Naegi, stick a hand up there and pull the thing out. I will not ask twice.”

“Eh, me?”

“I’ll do it, Master!” Fukawa happily exclaims. “Look!”

Togami does not look. As soon as stating his incredibly unhelpful expert opinion, he turns on his more-expensive-than-Oowada designer heel and walks away, since he ceased to be amused with the situation at hand.

“Master, my hand is stuck!”

The familiar, clicking sound of footsteps approaching informs them that Maizono has returned, this time bringing Kuwata with her. “‘Sup!”

With a small yelp, Fukawa somehow manages to unclog her arm out of the pickup box. She wobbles, almost falling, but miraculously straightens herself at last moment. She gets up from where she was crouching, defeated. “This is s-so dumb,” she says.

“Take care of this for me, will you?” Maizono bats her eyelashes at Kuwata, the action seemingly her idea of helping solve the issue. Kuwata puffs his chest up.

“On it!”

With this, the vending machine is now being kicked from both of its sides, by two people, albeit yielding equally as much results as just the one. This doesn’t discourage them in the slightest.

“Damn it, shit fucking, fuck!”

“Hey, you know what,” Naegi says, his voice slightly raised over the sounds of various shouting and clanging that his friends are making, “This has been fun, and you’ve helped a lot, really! But there’s no need to do it anymore. It’s really not important.”

“No, it’s personal now,” Kuwata states, slamming his entire weight, shoulder-first, into the side of the vending machine. “Ow.”

“If you say so,” Naegi shrugs. He and Kirigiri say their goodbyes and leave them to it.

“Haha, losers!” A blonde upperclassman giggles at them as she passes by.  
  


A few feet away, Fujisaki is feeling really nice on this particular morning, exam season nonetheless. Today’s exercise proved to be very energizing, and now there’s a bunch of friends and classmates that she doesn’t normally see together, all gathered in the hallway. As she joins them, a few of them wave.

“What’s up!” Oowada gives her a one-armed hug.

“I’m doing great, thank you!”

“Been out for a run?”

Fujisaki makes a flexing motion with her arm, while Oowada squeezes her biceps and whistles. She beams at him.

“Yeah!”

“Wanna help?” Oowada makes a motion with his head, pointing back to what's happening. There’s even more people gathered around now, including a bored-looking Celestia nursing a coffee, Nanami from programming taking a nap standing up, and another upperclassman girl in an unbuttoned shirt, who is currently howling after having climbed on top of the vending machine, none of them exactly helping.

“Oh, can I?”

“Hell yeah, dude!”

Fujisaki locks her shoulders; prepares her guard. Looks at the vending machine. Looks at the vending machine some more. The world seems to catch its breath before she gives it a small, gentle pat and quickly moves away.

“I can’t bring myself to do it… I’d feel so bad for the poor thing,” she explains to them apologetically. Her remark is met with more unarticulated screaming.

“Hey, Owari, try jumping up and down and see if it changes anything!” one of the people shouts at the girl sitting on top of the thing, her legs crossed. Another does little to hide the way he’s ogling at her panties, though she doesn’t seem to mind or even notice.

“What didja say?”

“Attention!” Suddenly, a loud and authoritative voice spreads booming across the hallway, as a figure in a perfectly ironed and buttoned-up suit quickly approaches. “What is happening here?! Who the heck is making so much commotion at this hour, what utter inconsider- bro?” He pauses. “Bro! Why, it’s you! Greetings, everyone!”

Ishimaru cheerfully gestures towards them all, hands outstretched, the issue of noise forgotten along with the fact that Ishimaru himself is currently being the noisiest one out of everyone present. Oowada steps away from the vending machine for a moment, pausing in between kicks to give his boyfriend a kiss.

“As you can see, we have a problem at hand. We are all working very hard in order to solve it,” Celestia, who hasn’t made a single attempt to help solve the stuck candy bar problem, informs him politely. She  _ is _ standing there, though, sipping her coffee with a lot of attention and care, and as everyone knows, moral support is vital in moments such as these. “So a little bit of ruckus is in order, is it not?”

“Is that so!” Ishimaru exclaims, getting closer to examine the issue. Well! Why didn’t you say so in the first place?”

“Have any ideas, dude?” Oowada asks him.

“Yes, of course! I’ll be happy to help!”

Ishimaru comes even closer to the thing and starts simultaneously tapping the machine’s front and pressing the eject change button, which does absolutely nothing to unjam the candy bar. “Interesting!” He does this some more, after which Owari hisses at him and he promptly moves away. He stays looking, though, seemingly deep in thought.

A little to the front, Hagakure and an upperclassman in goth attire are both touching the glass and chanting vastly different things into it. The glass doesn't appear to care for this at all.

“A formidable enemy,” the upperclassman mutters. “I have never seen a creature of darkness this frighteningly adept at veiling the human perception into oblivion as this one.”

No one gives an audible answer to this, but the guy nods like he’s satisfied.

Kuwata suddenly turns his head, having noticed something. “Hey, I know that guy from a concert!” He leans away and gesticulates animatedly, trying to get the attention of the person approaching. “Souda, my man! You’re the machine man! We're trying to fix this thing here, care to help?”

The pink haired mechanical engineering major practically sprints up to them, visibly excited. “Someone said something needs fixing?”

“Yea.”

“ _ Hells _ yeah! Gimme a sec to get my screwdriver, I’m gonna dismantle it and then-”

“Dismantling? But, that would mean destruction of the school’s property! No, absolutely unacceptable,” Ishimaru informs him sternly.

“So is kicking it, though...”

“Hey, losers!” The small but incompetent vending machine community turns to see the blonde girl who sneered at them earlier, making her entrance once again, this time carrying a big pack of colorful gummy bears with her.

“Saionji, what’s up?” Souda grins.

There's a sudden crinkling noise as the bag is being open. “Nothing much, just came here to laugh at some idiots failing to get some candy. This is my movie popcorn,” she points at the bag.

“Nice! I’m actually here to help them, see, I'm really into getting this thing open and-”

“No dismantling!”

“Please, my guy,” Souda’s eyes have a strange sort of shine to them now, asking for permission, “I’ve always wanted to mess around with its insides... Like wanting to see a girl with her panties off, ya know the feel?”

“I do not,” Ishimaru, a known gay, tells him so matter-of-factly.

“Come on, man…”

“Go away, Souda. You’re freaking them out,” Saionji interrupts him through a mouthful of gummy bears.

Souda frowns, sighing. “Alright, geez. See u later, then, guys!” He waves them off, yet again in good spirits despite the talking down that he just got.

“‘Sup, Hinata,” Souda adds, as he notices his friend walking past him in the opposite direction, looking so stressed and exhausted as if he might drop right down at any second now. Exam season is always a difficult time for him, in a “Hell is everywhere and death is upon us” kinda way.

“Hey.” He says.

“Wanna help?”

Slowly, Hinata nears them and stares at the situation, offending candy bar and all. He then lightly slaps the side of the vending machine, once.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna work,” he declares, flat faced, before he makes his leave. He’s so tired.

“Saionji-san, do you want to help, maybe?” Someone asks.

“Nope!” The girl laughs. “But I  _ can _ ask my girlfriend to come take a picture of all your dumb faces. Hey, does anyone here want my leftovers?” The bag she’s holding is now partly filled, nothing but yellow gummies inside.

“Fuck yeah, throw ‘em this way!” Owari waves at her excitedly from above. Saionji throws the bag her way, and Owari catches it mid-air.

“Nice.”

A little bit further from the group, Enoshima from their year, who was just passing nearby, notices the commotion that they’re making. She walks around to the back of the vending machine and pulls the plug out of the wall socket in one swift motion. Its lights flicker and die, leaving the thing’s insides in darkness and the candy bar still sadly stuck, an outcome to which they react with even more screams and exclaims.

Enoshima grins.

*

“Oh!” Several hours after everyone’s given up and went on their way, Komaeda blinks at the second candy bar that drops down the machine, following the one he was getting for himself. He picks them both up.

“I hate coconut,” he says, pleasantly.

**Author's Note:**

> continues my long suffering tradition of getting into fandoms way too late
> 
> i wrote this thing at like 5am in one go, chat with the other half of my braincell open in another window, and i dont regret anything so far
> 
> will write more college au stuff if inspiration serves me, ive got a lot of cursed ideas and like to think im funny
> 
> edit: my dudes i literally put 'she/her pronouns for fujisaki' in the fic tags up there so if thats not ur cup of tea and u still go and click to read then i really dunno what to tell u


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